Friday, 10 July 2020

David at the Movies: the Italian super-stallion

365 DAYS (Netflix)

Wow! The line between soft-core and hardcore is getting a heck of a lot narrower. This Polish/Italian mish-mash is a tale of obsession, although its star stud, Italian stallion Michele Morrone, looks like a model for Calvin Klein’s Obsession fragrance. He plays Massimo, a Sicilian gangster who kidnaps a Polish woman, Laura (Anna Maria Sieklucka), because she resembles the girl of his dreams. He tells her he will keep her for 365 days until she falls in love with him.

Needless to say, it takes only a few minutes of screen-time before she surrenders to his considerable charms. His career as a Godfather is hardly shown, in case it gets in the way of the ‘romance’. Sieklucka is a pretty woman, but the camera concentrates on Morrone, who is impossibly handsome. His hair, never out of place, reminded me of George Hamilton.

The plot is about as slender and incidental as it was in Joan Collins’s two forays into erotica, The Bitch and The Stud. The endless bonking is the only reason to watch this. Female (and gay) viewers will drool. Signor Morrone is the pinnacle of drool-worthy. Straight male viewers might prefer to dig out their old video of Debbie Does Dallas.

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